Easy Pars

There was an actual crime against grass

GM. This is Easy Pars. The golf newsletter that loves teeing off on a cool spring morning. How about you?

Here’s what we’ve got for you today:

Don’t these people have something better to do?

Last minute, anti-LIV rule change from the Open.

Another great, gone too soon.

The work of a criminal mastermind

What do the worst criminals have in common?

For one, they never get away with it, because crime doesn’t pay. Government-sponsored cartoon characters taught us that much.

Second, they always hit where it hurts the most.

This is precisely what the supervillain who burned a big chunk of the grass at the North Course of the Detroit Golf Club a few weeks before their PGA Tour event.

This is not some schmoe who failed to fix his divot.

Not some jerk who didn’t rake the bunker you just hit into.

And no, not some drunken Sunday golfer who left tracks in the mud on a clear cart path only day.

Someone literally used, what news types are calling “chemical vandalism” to ruin the grass at the Detroit Golf Club.

Two greens at the Detroit Golf Club remain closed after vandals reportedly damaged the course on April 19.


— WXYZ Detroit (@wxyzdetroit)
May 5, 2023

The Rocket Mortgage Classic is scheduled to be played on June 29th, so this leaves the Golf Club with just about 8 weeks to get the grass to recover.

If our own E. Gator was there, he wouldn’t rest until he could find the culprit and, in the words of the 80’s icon, Scruff McGuff…

According to the club’s officials, this should be just enough time. But that’s only if the weather cooperates.

Seems like the criminal’s plan to spoil the golf weekend won’t work. At least we hope.

But it sure was close.

Phil Mickelson doing what Phil Mickelson does best

Besides playing golf, of course.

That thing is expressing his opinion about why the OGWR is doing a horrible job could do better at ranking golf players.

What sparked his anger this time?

A last-minute “tiny” change in the US Open’s qualifying criteria.

A “tiny” change, surprise surprise, leaves a few more LIV Golfers out of the US Open. Historically, to qualify for the US Open all you had to do was to…qualify.

This is in big part why it’s called the US Open.

But now, they modified the criteria to include “eligibility”.

So who does this impact?

Namely, Talor Gooch.

Did they really need to make this “small, last-minute change” when all it did was impact one prominent player from the competing league?

Phil is being upfront by saying the change was clearly targeted to leave Talor out of the US Open and that it’s a big-time poo-poo move.

What do you think?

Which club should you use for this?

Often, pro players will share with each other what they used in a given shot.

It’s considered a professional courtesy, even though somewhat frowned upon by the rules.

But sometimes, there are situations where nobody can help you and you just have to figure it out on your own.

And that is exactly what Rickie Fowler did this weekend at the Wells Fargo Championship.

Only it wasn’t coming out of your typical golf situation.

Rather, a quite big snake had made its way into the green. It’s a wild video, if you want to watch, here it is from @PGATOUR:

Rickie Fowler the … snake charmer?!

No fear with a wedge from @RickieFowler 🐍 https://t.co/nJLwQhsE5J

May 6, 2023

Rickie took out his trusty wedge, and without harming the animal, nudged it to go back to the rocks where it came from.

Well done Rickie, you clearly used the right club for the situation.

And double kudos for keeping both the snake and everyone on the course safe.

But besides taking care of nature, Rickie also showed up to play some serious golf.

He closed the second day strong which left him in a great spot to get another top-20 finish on his resume with a tie for 14th.

Note: Wyndham Clark put the “W” in Wells Fargo, to the tune of a $3.6 million payday. Not bad for the current (soon to be upped) 80th in the world ranks.

Tour Pros wear a black ribbon to honor the passing of Lance Ten Broeck

Many tour Pros, including Rickie Fowler, were seen wearing black ribbons this past weekend at the Wells Fargo Championship.

They wore it to honor the legacy of a pro player, caddy, and instructor – Lance Ten Broeck.

We lost a great friend of the game of golf yesterday, Lance Ten Broeck.

Lance spent his whole life around our great game as a player, a caddy, and a coach, for that matter.

A True legend and most of the stories are true!

Loved that man – RIP brother!

— Ernie Els (@TheBig_Easy)
May 1, 2023

Ten Broeck made 355 starts on the PGA Tour. He is remembered for simultaneously caddying and playing at the 2009 Valero Texas Open. Kind of like those episodes of cartoons where Fred Flintstone tried to be in two places at once.

Ten Broeck is like:

Ten Broeck is regarded as someone who truly loved the game of golf. And he was loved by pros.

We salute you, Lance.

Giveaway Update!

The giveaway is (sadly) over, and we want to thank you if you entered. We’ll be announcing the winner in the upcoming Thursday issue. Then, we’ll get the info from the winner and ship out a brand-new box of Pro V1s.

We’ll do another giveaway from our official Facebook Page, sometime next week!

Meme of the Day

When no one’s around, you find a ball in the fairway, and you know you shouldn’t pick it up:

That’s it for today, golf fan. We’ll see you in the next issue, on Thursday!

Later gator,


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