Easy Pars

Masters rundown — Easy Pars Style

GM. This is Easy Pars. The golf newsletter that’s soaking up all the action at the Masters.

And it’s time.

The Masters is here, and the Easy Pars Gator (known as “E.” for short) can’t wait any longer. Welcome to our Special Masters Issue!

So much to cover, but here’s what we’ve got:

Groupings are kinda lame

Scottie’s dinner

The audacity of reporters in the interviews

The Masters organizers avoid all grouping controversy

Tuesday, as expected, we got Thursday and Friday tee times and pro groupings.

From what we see — NO TWO LIV GOLFERS ARE PAIRED.

And, no high-controversy groupings either. Honestly, it would’ve been awesome to see some more high-profile groups. And honestly, it’s not even too much to imagine something like:

Mickelson or Sergio with Tiger.

Cam Smith and DJ with Rory, Scottie, or Rahm

But sadly, the organizers avoided as much potential drama as possible. And they also shied away from allowing the LIV players to pump each other up.

You see, the LIV players have a gentlemen’s agreement.

If one of their ranks wins this year — All LIV players on the field will rush the green to congratulate their fellow defector.

When Rory was asked if he would rush the green if a PGA player won? “Depends on who it is.”

Rory also hasn’t snubbed all of the LIV golfers. In fact, he mentioned he had a tee time with one of them. Good to see!

Scottie’s dinner was lit (according to AI)

So, there were no fireworks or awkward moments at the Champion’s dinner…that we know about.

Apparently, Phil didn’t say much, and since it was Scottie to give the speech, it was easy to avoid controversy. If a now-LIV player won last year — it likely would’ve been different. Maybe.

Speaking of Scottie, his dinner menu was wild. Keep in mind, even though he looks older, Scheff is only 26.

Maybe that’s why his menu looks like either a prisoner’s last meal or the dinner of a college kid who found a $100 Applebee’s gift card in his Uber.

Scottie, when asked about the menu for the Masters Club Dinner:

Tee times are boring, and the dinner was quaint, but AI (again) tells us a different story.

Twitter user @flushingitgolf asked AI to imagine how the dinner went down. It’s nothing short of amazing what we really wish went down.

Artificial Intelligence has replicated a version of the Masters Champion’s dinner and it’s hilarious. I can’t image it’s anything like as much fun as this looks 🤣

@TossingClubs @CaddieNetwork

https://t.co/f0cnaLu1fX

— Flushing It (@flushingitgolf)
Apr 4, 2023

E.’s honest translation of the big interviews

Here’s a quick breakdown of 80% of the reporters’ questions to Tiger, Rory, Scottie, and Homa

Reporters to Tiger: Come on…do you think you can win?

Reporters to Rory: …So, do you think Tiger can win? And why haven’t you won yet?

Reporters to Scottie: Is it different, this year, because you won?

Reporters to Homa: Why are we asking you questions?

In all honesty, Tiger got all sentimental. He talked memories, passing his love of the game to his son and others, and how he doesn’t know how many more tournaments he has left in the pros.

That said, my man really can’t wait to ride in carts on the Champions Tour.

“I’ve got three more years, where I get the little buggy and be out there with Fred [Couples], but until then no buggy.”

Tiger Woods

Tiger also talked about the golf ball rollback (he’s a fan), no-cut events (not a fan), and LIV (no comment, but we all know what he’s thinking).

Meme of the Masters

😂😂

That’s it for this special issue of Easy Pars. How’d we do? Let us know in this poll:

We’ll be right back at it, tomorrow morning.

Later gator,

E.

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